Kelly Has Thoughts and Writes About Them

Annual New Year's Meme: Compare and Contrast Edition

2011-12-31T19:59:00.000-08:00

Last year, and I think the year before, I did this 41 question year in review. It's a way for me to reflect on the past year. This year I'm including my 2010 answers for comparison's sake. Blessed New Year!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
2011: Grad school! Also, karaoke, teaching, joined a gym (and liked it!), played Fantasy Football, and went car shopping unaccompanied.
2010: Ran a 5K (three of them, actually), pole-danced, went to Victoria and San Francisco, went to an NFL game, and many more little things.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
2011: See resolution below. I believe I kept this for the most part. This year, I'm resolving to take care of my spiritual health in addition to the physical and emotional health I'm already working on.

2010: I don’t recall making any last year. This year I resolved to not spend excessive energy on people or things that prevent me from being my true self.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
2011: No

2010: No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
2011: Another lucky year

2010: No, thank G-d.

5. What countries did you visit?
2011: Canada again. I spent my birthday in Vancouver.

2010: Our gentle neighbor to the north, Canada!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
2011: More faith that I am liked (getting better but room for improvement). More confidence to speak my mind and have different opinions than others.

2010: I’d rather not put such things in writing, because I don’t want to eventually look back and realize I didn’t get something, if this should happen. I feel like I would spend time dwelling on this rather than relishing in all the great things that happened instead.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2011: First day of grad school. New school, new people. It was like being a kindergartener or college freshman all over again. Thankfully, I found people to eat lunch with and others admitted to having the same fear of eating alone.

2010: This doesn't need to be re-included.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
2011: Grad school. I got accepted and most applicants actually don't. After two years of working toward this, I got in, found the financial resources, and made it happen. And finished the quarter with excellent grades.

2010: Learning to run

9. What was your biggest failure?
2011: Worrying too much. Overanalyzing.

2010: Not respecting myself enough

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
2011: Anemia, ankle injury, and food allergies/intolerances.

2010: Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?
2011: Gwendolyn the Wonder Car. I treat her like another pet. Maggie isn't jealous, that I'm aware of.

2010: New running shoes. They’re super comfy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
2011: My classmates. Everyone works really hard and is super nice.

2010: Lots of people’s, though I need to give myself some credit, too.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
2011: It doesn't matter

2010: Meh, why bother?

14. Where did most of your money go?
2011: Rent, car, moving

2010: Rent and tuition

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
2011: The day I got into grad school (there's a theme here). I received the news via voicemail while riding home from work on the bus and I had to wait until I got home to squeal.

2010: Pictures of very small gingerbread men :-)

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
2011: Uninvited, Adele, only because it is on every radio station, everyday, while driving back and forth between Seattle and Kenmore for school.

2010: Good Life, Kanye West

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
2011: Happier. Yay, upward trend!

2010: Happier

ii. thinner or fatter?
2011: Thinner

2010: Thinner

iii. richer or poorer?
2011: Poorer

2010: Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
2011: Bonding sessions with my classmates. We waited until the end of the quarter to go out and we should have done more of that. We've resolved to fix this.

2010: Traveling and reading

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
2011: Worrying

2010: Worrying

20. How will you spend Christmas?
2011: I spent Christmas watching old movies and eating homemade pizza and researching dietetic internships.

2010: I spent Christmas watching old movies and eating leftover Chinese food

21. What was the best day in 2011?
2011: Not sure

2010: I’m not sure

24. What was your favorite TV program?
2011: Complete and utter trash. It's a brain cleanse between study sessions.

2010: How I Met Your Mother, The Office

25. Do you hate anyone now?
2011: No

2010: Meh, why bother?

26. What was the best book you read?
2011: The Land of Painted Caves, Jean Auel. I didn't have much time to read for pleasure this year.

2010: My old journals. I still haven’t finished them.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
2011: I listen to whatever is on the radio, old and new stuff, but not much that would be considered "cool" by those in the music know.

2010: I don’t really discover new music; I’m hip like that. I added very little to my music collection in 2010.

28. What did you want and get?
2011: Grad school

2010: To use my passport

29. What did you want and not get?
2011: It doesn't matter. It's more important to count blessings than misses.

2010: A 4.0 in organic chemistry

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
2011: I'm running a bit behind on new movies. I watched Precious a couple weeks ago. Wow.

2010: Toy Story 3. It was both funny and very touching.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
2011: Toured around Vancouver, BC

2010: Tulip festival and dinner

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
2011: Unclenching a bit at certain times

2010: I’m not sure, because anything else would have changed the year and I feel like it’s better to leave it as is.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
2011: Casual and whatever keeps me warm during class because it's always cold.

2010: Fashion concept? I was supposed to have one of these? Jeans, stretchy tops, and flat shoes.

34. What kept you sane?
2011: Bathtub meditation

2010: Running

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
2011: I don't do the celebrity crush thing (at least not since Katie Holmes years ago). I still follow my reality stars.

2010: I follow the Gosselins and Duggars. I don’t know why. I just do. Go ahead, ridicule me. I didn’t “fancy” any last year.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
2011: Food and health

2010: Health care

37. Whom did you miss?
2011: Same answer as last year

2010: Different people at different times, depending on what I needed or wanted at any given particular moment.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
2011: My awesome classmates

2010: Starts with a J, because I’ve gotten to experience new things and places. Runner up or tie starts with an M, because I’ve laughed a lot and it’s always a relief to hang out with someone with whom I feel comfortable being the silly, talkative Kelly.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
2011: Again, spend time with people who add to your energy and less with those who sap your energy. Don't be afraid to do what is best for you.

2010: Spend lots of time with people with whom you can be your weirdest, craziest self and don’t bother with the others.

40. What were your best meals of the year?
2011: The red curry I had a couple weeks ago was particularly memorable.

2010: Salmon with lots of lemon and garlic and dill, paired with summer salads.

41. What are you looking forward to in 2011?
2011: Confidence, wisdom, fun, growth

2010: Laughing and being silly with cool people

12/13/11

2011-12-13T22:01:00.000-08:00

Today one of the patients in the class I teach wrote on their class evaluation that I made them feel comfortable asking questions. Several others wrote that I did a great job and that the class was very informative. My best evaluations yet! Then this evening, I spent several hours at happy hour eating delicious salsa, drinking sangria, and conversing with coworkers and former coworkers about both work and non-work and overall just bonding. I topped off the evening by briefly catching up on the phone with a good friend. All in all, it was a warm fuzz kind of day for interpersonal interactions.

Coat

2011-12-10T21:40:00.001-08:00

I've had the same black coat since my freshman year of high school. High school, college, most of my twenties, wore it every winter. The lining is ripped. I can't use the pockets anymore. It's beat up on all sides. Today I bought a new heavy coat at Value Village. It's warmer, newer, and grey, and I almost cried in the middle of the store when I realized it was time to let my old coat go, and I'm crying now as I think about the coat that has seen me through 13 years of life. I'm not sure anyone else would understand why this is so difficult.

First Quarter

2011-12-08T17:38:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I just finished my first quarter of grad school! Grad school is something I worked really hard to get to and it's still hard to believe I actually made it there and it's going by so quickly. There are so many awesome things about it, but one of them has definitely been my classmates. For the first time, I'm surrounded by people I have tons in common with and feel comfortable talking to about real stuff. Not only am I making great friends, I'm learning tons (obviously) and growing as a person. I had to give three presentations this quarter and began teaching a class for transplant patients through my volunteer site. I'm getting more comfortable and natural in my teaching and even enjoy it sometimes. It makes a difference when you're excited about the material. Last night I went out with about 30 classmates and sang karaoke twice. I'd only ever sang during Rock Band at private parties and never felt that good about it, even with a ton of alcohol. This time, it was in front of a crowded bar and yeah, there was alcohol involved, but I think I honestly would have felt just as comfortable without it. I wasn't even remotely nervous, thoroughly enjoyed it, and I can't remember the last time I felt so supported. I am incredibly blessed and excited about life.

Alive

2011-10-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

Look! I'm still alive! Grad school is a dream come true and there's something about being in school that makes me feel like the world is wide open.

My stove was active today: Over the course of the day, I made pizza (vegan), pumpkin soup (from an actual pumpkin I roasted), roasted pumpkin seeds (from the soup pumpkin's seeds), navy beans, and oatmeal raisin cookies. I've been trying to make a couple legumes and a grain ahead of time for quick lunches and dinners for the week to be eaten in various combinations with whatever veggies I have on hand. I had to stop eating dairy, nuts, and soy due to progressive allergies to each, the soy being the least severe but definitely uncomfortable, the dairy being about a step away from dangerous. Eliminating these categories also pretty much eliminated most processed and restaurant foods, and my energy level has gone up and my weight down. I think I'm done with white flour, too. There was some in the pizza dough today and I crashed shortly after eating it. And refined sugar. Putting together meals under these constraints is actually easier than I thought it would be, and cheap. I'm on the best diet of my life and spending less than ever.

As a result of being a nutrition grad student, I spend a great deal of time thinking about food and health. I have no problem with this.

9/11

2011-09-11T20:56:00.001-07:00

On 9/11/2001, I was a senior in high school and I found out about what happened when I got to school, since we didn't normally watch the morning news at home. We spent the entire morning watching the coverage while in class, no work happened. At lunch, I signed myself out for the rest of the day and went home, where my mom greeted me with, "I'm so glad you skipped school!" In 2007, I visited Ground Zero and the feeling of standing there has not left me since. It was just so, big and empty and had this surreal quality about it. People had written messages on the construction signs around the area and I added a note of my own. From then on, my eyes start to well up frequently whenever 9/11 is mentioned. Today was especially touching, being the 10th anniversary. I ran a 5K race this morning and as we were lining up to start, the national anthem was sung (as it is at all sporting events, races included) and I started thinking back to 10 years ago and the question "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" came to mind. Ten years ago, I would have been way off had I answered that question about today. I spent the day running a 5K, following my fantasy football team online, and cooking dinner for homeless teens in the kitchen of a Jewish community center, all things I feel are appropriate in their own way to honoring this day. I somehow think that my answer to that question 10 years ago wouldn't have been nearly as interesting or surprising as the reality. Part of me wants to speculate on where I'll be in 10 years but experience has taught me that anything I could imagine right now will pale in comparison to what the reality will be. Pretty exciting!

Goodnight Moon

2011-08-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, my very last night in my apartment. I dropped a few things off at the new place and as excited as I am to be moving in tomorrow, I'm getting a little sentimental and teary as I pack up the remainder of my stuff and realize this is really it. I moved here in August 2008 and since then, my little apartment has seen me through three boyfriends, five months of unemployment, two jobs, all of my grad school prerequisite classes, and one kitty adoption. So long, home, it's been swell.

Hidden Gems

2011-07-24T22:06:00.001-07:00

While sorting books, I found a copy of "Mars and Venus: Together Forever" shoved behind a row of books (yeah...I do that), with a note from my mother taped to the front. I guess I totally forgot about this piece of motherly encouragement:

And yes, that is a Valentine sticker stuck to it with a handwritten "Happy V.D."

Edit: I also found a copy of "Smart Women, Foolish Choices" tucked behind the other books, possibly sent at the same time. Completely forgot I owned both books.

Book Pruning

2011-07-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today I started going through my book collection in preparation for next month's move. I need to weed the collection down to one not-full bookcase, which is proving to be a painful process. The first round was easy, paperbooks I bought at sales and never read and really no longer have an interest in reading, as well as ancient knitting books I'll never open and household hints books my mom sent me that I don't care about. The next round consisted of novels I read and wasn't that into or liked enough but won't read again. Now I'm in the uncomfortable position of pruning the stacks even further. I'm starting to realize the books I truly hold sacred, some of which make sense, some don't: Jewish, knitting, travel, long-favored novels, comedy (e.g. Far Side), Sims game strategies, vacation home floor plans, names, women's studies, history, and of course anything relevant to healthcare or nutrition. It's interesting to really learn what it is truly dear to my heart. There are things that I like and keep in my home, but then there are things that feel like part of me.

P.S. I'm going to have a little drink and toss the Sims books into the box. Onward life!

Adventures in Real Estate

2011-07-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am grateful that I have an apartment to move to in a month and that this apartment hunting stage is over. It was brutal out there. Last week I viewed a couple places I wasn't in to. Then I was supposed to see one in a neighborhood I like, but I got there and it had already been rented that day. At an open house this morning, I was about to write a check and a guy wrote one faster even though I was clearly there first. I won on the next round, though, and landed an apartment 5 blocks from my current one that is cuter, tinier, and cheaper than my current place. Luckily I had a car and could get to the rental office first with my deposit (the current tenant was the one who actually gave me a tour). I called, viewed, got a cashier's check, and got to the rental office all within about a one hour period. About an hour later, I got an email from my new landlady to confirm she had been informed of my deposit, and said she'd already turned down two applicants since then. Three people saw the apartment before me (called at 11:30 a.m.) and it had just been listed last night. I am a lucky girl.

I'm also actually a bit excited to downsize my stuff into a smaller space. I feel like it'll be cozier. I'm going from about 600 square feet to 400 square feet, a 1 bedroom to a 1 bedroomish. There's no actual door between the living room and bedroom but there is a long built-in closet dividing the space. I'll need to figure out the cat situation and whether I can now trust her with my bed or if I need to install some sort of bifold door or get a free-standing room divider (if she won't knock it over); she'll climb or jump a baby gate. Moving is a pain but I'm excited for a new space and to start a new chapter in my life. In the meantime, I'm also super excited to go through my stuff, organize, toss, sell, donate, label, etc.

Road Trip

2011-07-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

Notes from last weekend's road trip to the Columbia River Gorge to visit the mother:

New car's first road trip! Gwendolyn the Wonder Car rolled over to 100K miles and I was able to pull over and take a picture. What a thrill to watch all digits of the odometer roll over at once!

I saw real cowboys at a Starbucks in Ellensburg, WA. I'd forgot they actually existed.

I remembered that eastern Washington is simultaneously pretty and ugly, depending on your mood.

The sandwich artist at the Subway in Goldendale, WA was very, very slow and not so bright. I hope she likes her job because this may be the end of the road for her. It's not everyday you stop to get gas and find the gas station is also a Dairy Queen, Subway, and mini-mart, with no walls between the three concepts.

I went to Walmart in Hood River, OR. I bought a quart of oil, a tire gauge, and mascara. Then I went to the Dollar Tree and bought socks with cherries on them. Tax free.

The diner was out of huckleberries for the pancakes. Maybe this means I'll have to go back in September for Huckleberry Festival...

Rerunning

2011-06-13T22:15:00.001-07:00

I had to go 2.5 months without running. We never figured out what exactly I did to my left ankle, but it's most definitely back to its previous glory with the help of physical therapy exercises, acupuncture, and arch supports. I think it may have been started by the evil treadmill; I will not be back on it. Whatever caused it, I've graduated from physical therapy and am back on the trail as of about a week and a half ago. I've been sort of doing the couch to 5K stuff I did when I first worked up my running distance and time, but this time it is so much easier. Thanks to the elliptical and stationary bike, my fitness didn't suffer too much during the dark period. I did 25 minutes of run/walk tonight. I cannot express how happy this makes me! Seriously, I'm bouncing on air now. Happy mood is back! Runner's high is back! So, so excited!

Mmm...genes

2011-06-09T07:03:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I ordered a kit from 23andme.com to have my DNA tested for a couple hundred health conditions and traits as well as ancestry, and I finally got my results a couple days ago. I was very happy to find that I'm at a reduced risk for Alzheimer's compared to average and I don't have any of the three known bad breast cancer risk markers. The only bad thing I'm at a significantly elevated risk for is psoriasis (eww). I did a little research on this condition and most people have their first flare between the ages of 18-35; so far, so good for me. My colon cancer risk is just barely higher than average (4.8% compared to 4.0%), which was not at all shocking considering my dad had it, but this cancer is more affected by lifestyle than genetics. I'm much better on the lifestyle part than he was. A lot of the other conditions tested for were elevated or decreased risk but the research is more limited, so kind of hard to tell at this point.

More fun facts about Kelly's genes:

I likely have blue eyes and very unlikely to have brown eyes. They're more greyish now, but they were blue until puberty.
My earwax is wet
I'm part of mitochondrial haplogroup V, which originated 16,000 years ago and is found in high concentrations of Finns, Saami (northern Finland/Russia), Sardinians, and Basques. Mitochondrial haplogroup is passed from mother to child, so women pass this to their children and their daughters pass it on; men don't pass it to their children. I couldn't get my paternal ancestry because they have to look at the Y chromosome and I am clearly lacking that.
I metabolize caffeine slowly
I don't flush with alcohol
By being breastfed, my IQ was likely raised 6-7 points
If I were to contract HIV, I may be more likely to have slow progression and low viral load.
I have the right muscle fibers to be a sprinter, should I have the appropriate training.

There is much to read in my results. I have lots of geeking out ahead of me. :-)

Reassuring Thoughts

2011-06-01T07:17:00.001-07:00

I've been known to read Oprah magazine from time to time for its inspiring articles. Say what you will about the Oprah franchise, it speaks to a lot of people, including myself. I recently ran across this in an interview with Oprah and I've found myself thinking of it often, at least once a day as I prepare to make life changes.

"And I thought, 'Here you are, in bed, afraid of making the next move and look at where you are...look at where you are. Look at where you have been brought from.' I started thinking about my little house in Mississippi and I started to cry. I thought, 'Look at all the times when

G-d didn't leave you alone.' And I thought, 'Okay, okay: G-d is not going to give me this opportunity and just leave me alone--why would I be put in this position, just to fail?"

Whenever I start to worry about how the future will work out, I try to bring myself back to this.

Yikes!

2011-05-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the grad school informed me that I've been awarded a $1000 scholarship based on the merit of my application. Later that day, I submitted a loan application and was pre-approved for up to the total cost of attendance less any other aid they give me. This includes living expenses.

Today I received word that my biochemistry transcript has been received and that I'm officially done with my prerequisites and no longer conditionally accepted. I got the "We can't wait to see you on campus this fall!" welcome.

I've been cruising the new student message board and there are a growing number of excited introductory posts from people in my program. We're planning gatherings over the summer to bond. I can't wait to meet my future friends and colleagues!

It looks like this school thing is really and truly happening!

My Day

2011-04-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today, an old friend of mine posted on facebook that her day was "a swollen eye and poop--the glamorous life of a mommy." It caused me to take pause and consider my own day. I took a sunny lunchtime walk and browsed a nearby used bookstore, got mid-afternoon coffee with a friend, made matzah pizza for dinner and watched TMZ and reruns of "How I Met Your Mother" while eating, got lost in a book, napped for an hour, and leisurely cycled at the gym with a magazine. I didn't have to come home and make dinner for anyone, I didn't have to give anyone a bath, and it's 9:30 and I still have plenty of energy and time to do whatever I want for the rest of the night. I feel like of the two of us, I had the better day. Really, I'm pretty happy with my status quo. Thanks, friend, for hitting the snooze button on my biological clock!

Movement

2011-04-20T20:58:00.001-07:00

I'm still recovering from my stress fracture. It's now been a month and I'm still not there, sadly. Tonight, I had planned to go to waterobics because I was feeling a very strong need to move my body. Unfortunately, tonight's class was canceled. I hadn't been to the gym in a couple weeks after I realized the elliptical and cycle were exacerbating the fracture. I had to go tonight, though. I seriously just had to. I spent 30 minutes slowly cycling while listening to music and reading an Oprah magazine. As I sat there cycling, I began thinking about how important movement has become to my well-being. I realized that it's always been important to some extent. When I was a young teenager, my mom's boyfriend hung a tree swing for me. I spent hours on that swing with my walkman strapped in a fanny pack, swinging forward and back, spinning and twisting, kicking myself off the tree as needed, daydreaming about the future as well as alternate current realities. I do all of my major thinking and dreaming while moving. I miss my lunchtime walks and evening runs. Last night, I attended a Passover seder, had a happy evening laughing and eating and drinking wine. The clock finally struck 12:30 and I decided it was time to call it a night. I walked the 30 minutes home, the cool night air against my bare legs, earbuds in place, alcohol swimming in my brain; I felt amazingly alive.

Happy Birthday!

2011-04-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

What I will remember from my 28th birthday, spent in Vancouver, BC:

French toast with strawberries, Cepacol throat lozenges, veggie burger with four cheeses, dolphins, belugas, otters, seals, seahorses, trolley bus, bathtime with wine and chocolate mousse, crisp hotel sheets, runny nose.

Cracked

2011-04-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Finally an update! There will be more updates once I finish my biochemistry class this Friday. I've been devoting most of my energy toward studying for the final and I'm prepared to rock it.

The shin splint from hell mentioned in a previous post--not a shin splint. I managed to get myself my very first stress fracture. This hairline fracture of my left tibia will take at least 6-8 weeks to heal. I've been going to physical therapy and have been ordered to keep weight-bearing activity to a minimum and don't do things that hurt. As it turns out, this includes recreational walking, running, and now elliptical and cycling. Cycling and elliptical are supposed to be safe for most stress fractures but I guess I'm special, because they hurt. Starting this week, it looks like I'll be spending quality time in the pool, because the lack of physical activity is driving me nuts. I can't believe I used to be sedentary! I suppose this is some major life lesson to teach me to appreciate running and other physical activities. It sucks in the meantime, though.

Weekend

2011-03-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Low Point of Weekend: Nasty shin splint that prevented me from running a race this morning. Luckily it was raining so it was easier to cope with the loss. I iced, I elevated, I rested. It's still sore, but I managed to at least speed walk for an hour on the treadmill. I'm going to do waterobics tomorrow night to help stretch it out. Injuries suck.

High Points of Weekend: Volunteering at a food bank Friday night and volunteering for Teen Feed tonight. My future program has a service hour requirement and I'm being proactive. It was these activities that made the future feel real and that I made the right choice. I'm very much looking forward to the experiences on the horizon.

Personal Training

2011-03-08T21:40:00.001-08:00

Today I had my first personal training session, included in my gym membership. She assessed me as needing to work on my upper body strength. Duh. She also assessed me as having great lower body strength. Hell yeah--I'm awesome from the hips down! Most of the plan she set up for me involves very simple exercises to increase my upper body strength and improve posture. I'm also going to try to fit in some yoga or pilates classes to help with this. She also highly approved of waterobics, so stop making fun of me, people. :-) All in all, it was a productive hour and I shall return for my 30 minute follow-up next month.

Speed class tomorrow! My quads are scared. I still can't do a full lunge to the floor after last week. Sigh. Bring on the pain!

Rain Is Stupid

2011-03-04T20:48:00.000-08:00

I joined a gym for the first time today. All day, I had been determined to go for a run when I got home, rain or not, but when I got home, the rain was gross and cold and I had no interest in running in it. This happens a great deal, which is rather problematic considering I have a half marathon training plan to start and a 3.5 mile race next weekend. Initially I considered jogging in place in my living room, but that really doesn't replace running. I then went to weather.com to check out the 10 day forecast--rain and cold as far as the eye could see. I put on my shoes and jacket and angrily walked to the gym two blocks away. The lady showing me around asked, "So what brings you in here today?" My response: "It won't stop raining." And that's the story of how Kelly finally joined a gym.

I also started a speed class this week to improve my running speed and stop whining about my lousy 5K times. Lunges are evil. It still hurts to get up from a seated position and the class was Wednesday evening. I have a massage appointment Sunday afternoon; my quads will be happy.

I'm still super happy about grad school. Every step in the process is new and exciting--receiving access to the new student portal, checking out the course schedule, adding volunteer events to my calendar, and receiving the course catalog in the mail today with confirmation of receipt of my deposit. The spot has been officially claimed!

Past Week

2011-02-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

Even though I have a million things I need to be doing, mostly involving biochemistry, I thought I should at least stop to quickly bang out a blog entry. The past week was a great and/or eventful one:

1. Valentine's Day involved a lovely meal and most excellent company.

2. I had my first eye exam ever and discovered I could use some glasses for reading/computer/detail work. For some reason, I didn't think the fuzziness was anything to be concerned about until I learned it could be fixed. On the day of the exam, I was telling my coworker about the routine exam and she casually said she noticed I lean in a little close to read things. Good information to have! I'd never noticed. The left eye is in pretty decent shape, the right eye has an astigmatism and slightly sucks for distance sight, forcing the left eye to carrying more than its share of the weight, which is hardly fair. So I got fitted for my first pair of glasses. I told the optician I had no clue where to start with frames since I don't even know how to pick out sunglasses. She handed me a few dainty pairs and I narrowed it down to a very subtle wire-rimmed pair in purplish red, something just right for a person who is not used to seeing herself in glasses and isn't in to accessories to begin with. I'll be picking them up this week. I'm actually a teense excited.

3. My friend is switching from AT&T to Verizon and giving me her iPhone! My current phone flips and is held together with masking tape.

4. I got accepted to grad school! G-d willing, I will be attending the Master of Science in Nutrition program at Bastyr University in the fall. I've been working on the prereq classes for almost two years and I didn't apply anywhere else, so it was pretty much a leap of faith. I kept the congratulatory voicemail.

5. Went to Ikea and Southcenter Mall and didn't spend an outrageous amount of money. I'd never actually been to Southcenter and it was fun to explore a different part of the greater Seattle area. Tukwila is insane--strip mall after strip mall until you finally reach the big mall. We were in disbelief and felt the need to name each chain restaurant and store we passed that aren't present within the Seattle city limits.

6. Went to both Value Village and Goodwill today and managed to find a few things. The boyfriend held up well under the hours of shopping and it was even his idea to go to Goodwill. Win!

V-Day Dash and Other Things

2011-02-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

I ran my fourth 5K yesterday, the Love 'em or Leave 'em Valentine's Day Dash. And yes, the shirt is as cute as you would expect it to be, even cuter actually. It wasn't my best time but it also wasn't my worst, and the most important part of the race was that it was the first morning race where I actually felt good during it and even better after. I think this was due at least in part to the following: Iron supplementation is hopefully already working (I recently learned that I'm anemic and have almost no iron stores remaining), level of hydration the day before and day of was perfect, the chicken stir fry the night before was power food, the oatmeal an hour before the race was power food, the mile walk to the starting line was a good warm-up. I already signed up for my next race, the St. Patrick's Day Dash, almost 4 miles long, which will be my longest race so far.

The news about the anemia was not surprising. I had suspected it might be the cause of my fatigue and was already trying to get more iron in my diet, but I need supplementation for a while to build up a reserve. I'm also about to start officially training for a half marathon and I absolutely need to start getting more iron and protein in order to meet that goal. I've made the decision to start eating chicken a couple times a week, even though kosher chicken is expensive; the investment may be worth it. Some people feel better with a little meat, others are totally fine on a well-balanced vegetarian diet. The iron in meat is better absorbed and I need that right now. Red meat is the best source for this, but kosher beef is not as readily available as chicken and I've never been a huge fan of it anyway. I've also started cooking on cast iron skillets in order to add even more iron to my food. It feels very "Little House on the Prairie" to cook this way and I'm digging it so far.

I had ridiculous amounts of energy and motivation today, which was a pleasant surprise. I cleaned my apartment (including decobwebbing and window sill wiping), decluttered two closets, hung a couple pictures, cooked three meals, signed up for a race, did a load of laundry, and then charged through two hours of biochemistry work. It was a good day! I'm actually excited to go to work tomorrow to get more accomplished. Whatever this is, I hope it lasts.

Hockey

2011-02-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

I went to my first hockey game last night, the Seattle Thunderbirds vs. the Spokane Chiefs. Unfortunately, we lost. Ah well. Though we didn't get many goals, we at least had some decent fights and kick ass hockey music. The zamboni was also soothing to watch during period breaks. All in all, it was a good time and another new experience.

Toes

2011-01-29T17:45:00.000-08:00

I decided a couple weeks ago that 2011 is going to be a year full of new experiences and exciting times.

Progress so far:
1. I got my very first pedicure today! A friend texted me this afternoon to tell me her friend bailed on her for pedicures and asked if I would be interested in going free of charge. Um, duh! Though had I known, I would have shaved my legs for the occasion (it's winter and I'm blonde, ok?). We went to Olympus Spa in Lynnwood and now I have pretty mulberry-colored sparkly toes.

2. I bought a deal for an introductory aerial class through Emerald City Trapeze. So I'm going to be flying through the air and such in a couple months when I don't have classwork.

More to come!

2010: A Review in 41 Questions

2011-01-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Ran a 5K (three of them, actually), pole-danced, went to Victoria and San Francisco, went to an NFL game, and many more little things.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t recall making any last year. This year I resolved to not spend excessive energy on people or things that prevent me from being my true self.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank G-d.

5. What countries did you visit?
Our gentle neighbor to the north, Canada!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
I’d rather not put such things in writing, because I don’t want to eventually look back and realize I didn’t get something, if this should happen. I feel like I would spend time dwelling on this rather than relishing in all the great things that happened instead.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
7/5/10. All of the anger I should have had long before was released and I had the all-important epiphany of “I’m better than this.” And then the energy was channeled into a crazy fun summer. :-)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to run

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not respecting myself enough

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?
New running shoes. They’re super comfy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Lots of people’s, though I need to give myself some credit, too.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Meh, why bother?

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent and tuition

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Pictures of very small gingerbread men :-)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Good Life, Kanye West

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier

ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner

iii. richer or poorer?
Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling and reading

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying

20. How will you spend Christmas?
I spent Christmas watching old movies and eating leftover Chinese food

21. What was the best day in 2010?
I’m not sure

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
No

23. How many one night stands?
It’s a secret :-)

24. What was your favorite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, The Office

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Meh, why bother?

26. What was the best book you read?
My old journals. I still haven’t finished them.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I don’t really discover new music; I’m hip like that. I added very little to my music collection in 2010.

28. What did you want and get?
To use my passport

29. What did you want and not get?
A 4.0 in organic chemistry

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Toy Story 3. It was both funny and very touching.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Tulip festival and dinner

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I’m not sure, because anything else would have changed the year and I feel like it’s better to leave it as is.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Fashion concept? I was supposed to have one of these? Jeans, stretchy tops, and flat shoes.

34. What kept you sane?
Running

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I follow the Gosselins and Duggars. I don’t know why. I just do. Go ahead, ridicule me. I didn’t “fancy” any last year.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care

37. Whom did you miss?
Different people at different times, depending on what I needed or wanted at any given particular moment.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Starts with a J, because I’ve gotten to experience new things and places. Runner up or tie starts with an M, because I’ve laughed a lot and it’s always a relief to hang out with someone with whom I feel comfortable being the silly, talkative Kelly.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Spend lots of time with people with whom you can be your weirdest, craziest self and don’t bother with the others.

40. What were your best meals of the year?
Salmon with lots of lemon and garlic and dill, paired with summer salads.

41. What are you looking forward to in 2011?
Laughing and being silly with cool people

Memory Lane: Eighth Grade

2010-12-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

Regarding my mission to read my old journals, I've now finished eighth grade. It was a long haul, mostly due to the fact that I could only stand to read a few pages a day because I wanted to SMACK my eighth grade self after each entry. It reinforced what I already knew: 14 year old girls are brats to the core. For those of you who did not know me at this particular time in my life, I'll give you a little summary, the details of which are very well-documented within the two journal volumes, carefully recorded every single day whether there was anything of substance to write about or not.

Fourteen-year-old Kelly's interests included nail polish, shopping, soap operas, giga pets, planning for college, and colored pens. Her favorite activities appeared to be swinging on the tree swing, taking sock drawer inventory, hating on pretty much everyone, and starving herself (because her 5'4" frame was disgustingly fat at 116 pounds). Gym class was awful, algebra was awesome, and seventh graders were annoying babies.

Buried among the pages and pages of negativity and descriptions of what I had for dinner, I found a few passages that broke my heart: "I feel like someone's watching me all the time...Right now everybody loves to go party. I'm terrified to. I always think everyone will laugh and stare at me or abandon me." "Sometimes I wish I had a best friend....I don't trust people with my secrets anymore." Awww. I have tears even as I retype those words now because those early experiences don't ever really go away. They actually surface quite frequently and sometimes I think we spend most of our lives just trying to get over what happened in the beginning.

On a more positive note, I was clearly ambitious and independent. Though I wrote and rewrote about all of the things I disliked about my current circumstances, there was complete optimism that I just needed to wait it out and everything would eventually get better, and it absolutely did. My dreams included being a Jew, going to college, living in a city, and traveling to far off places via airplane. Dearest young Kelly, you got to do all of these things! Despite the bullshit and heartache and difficult circumstances, you made your dreams come true! Pat on the back.

Onward to the high school years...stay tuned for freshman year! I know what's coming and it won't be pretty. As hard as I wanted to slap my middle school self, I have a feeling I'll want to hug my freshman self just as hard.

Memory Lane: The Ramona Years

2010-12-06T21:25:00.001-08:00

When I was at my mom's house over Thanksgiving, I took the opportunity to collect most of the keepsakes I had been storing there. I feel like I saved more than most people, partially because my mother is a packrat and wouldn't let me throw anything away. So here I am with two big boxes of newspaper clippings, class photos, and childhood art projects. I am lucky to have thought to save newspapers from 9/11 and Princessa Diana's death, my name on a star from the 8th grade graduation dance, and the puppy pillow I cross-stitched when I was five.

However, the most exciting part of the boxes is the collection of journals, written over the course of middle and high school, with one exception: My Ramona Quimby diary from first and second grade! Last night I finally found a spare moment to relax on my bed with this particular diary. It's very sparsely filled out, as one would expect from a 7-8 year old, and there are many writing prompts in order to be easy for young journal writers. Over the course of the first three pages, I mentioned kittens twice. I then proceeded to declare that if I were rich and famous, I would spend my money on dollhouse furniture. Some things never change, right? :-) Two crushes were revealed, one of whom I had completely forgotten about and happened to be someone I had a huge crush on much later in life. It was, of course, scribbled out in order to protect the boy's identity from prying eyes. I could tell once the diary turned from first to second grade, because the friends changed. I was prompted to list the new friends I'd made that school year and I'm still in touch with two of them. I had a moment of gratitude to have known so many people for basically my entire life. Outside of one's family, this just isn't very common and I'm blessed. The very last page of the diary has a statement for the owner to sign: "I promise to keep this diary to read when I grow up," and of course, I had printed my name in cute little grade school handwriting. At this point, the tears started to well up, even more so when I realized I got it for Christmas exactly 20 years ago. What an amazing treasure to have!

I have a whole stack of journals ahead of me to read and I'm excited to rediscover my younger self.

Winter

2010-11-30T18:11:00.001-08:00

Someday when I have a break from classwork, I will get to blog again. Tonight, I am taking a self-imposed break of a few minutes while my dinner cooks and I recover from my run. It's kind of cold out there. It's not so much the running in the cold that's rough, but the recovery period of a couple hours when I cannot warm up, even with a hot shower. I'm considering joining a gym for the winter months to make this easier on myself, but a treadmill just isn't the same as actual running, which is made all the more hardcore by the low temperatures and rain. However, the prospect of watching TV while I run is kind of appealing, not to mention the opportunity for cross-training AND the jacuzzi.

I'm tired. Organic chemistry is kicking my butt. Life has the usual intermittent let-downs. The sun has left Seattle for the winter. I feel a heck of a lot better after this run, though. I may be shivering and hungry, but at least I managed to squash the menacing blues another day.

Update

2010-10-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

I've been an absentee blogger. Blame it on school. I barely even have time to run anymore! My last 5K was less than stellar time-wise, but it had a ton of hills. I don't know how they managed to make the course almost completely uphill, but they did. However, every bit of racing experience helps! Also, I got a very cozy long-sleeve shirt out of the deal, which I'm wearing as a pajama top at this very moment. The next 5K is the weekend before Thanksgiving, the Green Lake Gobble. I really want to try to beat my last Green Lake race time! Oh, and big news on the goal front, I signed up for the Seattle Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in June!!! I've heard it's really fun, it sells out, and there is a live band at each mile. Also, it'll keep a goal on the horizon as incentive for continuous improvement. At the same time, 13.1 miles seems like a long distance but also not far at all. I've already done 6.7 miles and I have months to double that. Who knows, maybe I'll be in the Seattle Marathon in a year...

Side Effect of Running: I only have a couple pairs of pants left that fit well, because they were purchased recently out of necessity. I'm trying to slowly acquire new clothes as I can afford them because I'm starting to look like I stepped out of the 90s with the pants falling off my butt. 15 pounds have dropped since I started running in May!

I've been getting the knitting urge lately. It's been a while since I've done a project. I kind of want to make myself a cute little hat to run in, or at least a headband. I once tried gloves but gave up after one glove because I didn't like the yarn and they were too big because I have teeny hands. If anyone knows of a good running and knitting blog, they should tell me.

Blessing for the Stuffed Animals

2010-10-09T13:33:00.001-07:00

This morning in synagogue, we reached the point in our cycle of Torah reading when we read about Noah's ark and, of course, the animals in it. In honor of this, we had a special blessing of the stuffed animals. The kids brought stuffed animals, paraded around the synagogue, and then went up in front of the room for a blessing. Apparently the kiddos also got to frost and decorate animal sugar cookies. I didn't witness that particular certain-disaster, but the blessing was adorable. There were printed copies available to take home so that we could "bless the rest of our stuffed animals later." :-)

Blessing for the Stuffed Animals
Praised are you Ad-nai, our G-d, who rules the universe and who created humankind and our Stuffed Animal companions. Blessed are the Stuffed Animal companions who listen to us, snuggle with us, play with us and politely share our food with us despite already being stuffed.

Creator of muscle and bone, of fabric and stuffing, bless all inhabitants of your universe with your spirit. May citizens of all races, the teddy bear and human alike, forge a common bond in true harmony, to experience commonplace deeds as spiritual adventures, to feel the hidden love and wisdom of all things.

Stuffed bear, stuffed elephant, stuffed cat, and all Stuffed Animalkind, protect us against the dark, nightmares, spinach, and all that is scary. If we, as humans, do our part to protect them from rips and tears, stains and neglect, then happiness and prosperity, justice and freedom may forever abide in our midst.

We ask you Ad-nai, to look over the Stuffed Animal kingdom just as much as they look over us.

Praised are you Ad-nai, our G-d, who rules the universe, diversifying creation. And let us say: Amen.

Quote

2010-09-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

"I think I get used to, even addicted to, the feelings associated with the end of a long training run. I love feeling empty, clean, worn out, starving, and sweat-purged. I love the good ache of muscles that have done me proud. I love the way a cold beer tastes later that afternoon. I love the way my body feels light and sinewy."

~Kristin Armstrong, Author and runner

AMEN! :-)

Six!

2010-09-26T20:23:00.001-07:00

I reached the six mile mark! That's almost 10K! Still don't think I'm going to run the 10K at the UW Dawg Dash next month, though. I think I want to start with a flatter 10K. However, I will, of course, run the 5K. So excited! I might try to tackle the Lake Union loop next weekend, 6.2 miles.

Summer

2010-09-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

I have to go back to school tomorrow, which I guess means this is really the official end of my summer break. It's natural for me to look back over the summer and think of all the things I didn't get around to doing--didn't read enough books, didn't wipe out the space under the kitchen sink, etc.--rather than all the things I did do. I had a full summer! I went to San Francisco and Victoria, had A LOT of happy hours with my best friend, got closer to friends, went on dates, ate lots of great summer food, completed two 5K runs, took a pole dance class, did some yoga, went back to synagogue, and overall, got to a pretty happy place. I'm curious to see what Fall will bring, hopefully mostly good, but for the things that won't be so great (because face it, shit happens), I hope this summer has taught me how to better take care of myself.

Happy Fall!

Yom Kippur

2010-09-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Yom Kippur just ended. I'm very happy with how well it went for me. I managed to fast the entire time. Last year, I got sick halfway through and had to break the fast early. Last year, I was also definitely not in a spiritual place and got very little out of the service, left early afternoon. This year, I was there for the entire Kol Nidre service Friday night (last year I skipped), and I was there for nine hours today (9:30 - 6:30), only leaving about an hour and a half early. For those of you wondering, I did indeed get one of the few cushioned seats, and next to a narrow aisle by a wall no less! It turned out to be a lucky chair. Not only was I there, I felt things. I of course hit rough patches where I planned to leave at the next good stopping point but then I would come back up and dig back into the prayers.

There were some things I'd never experienced before because last year I didn't stay very long and before that I was at abbreviated services somewhere other than my mostly traditional synagogue. One of my favorite "new" parts turned out to be the ritual Kohen Gadol stuff regarding temple sacrifices (we only read, no animals were harmed! I don't want anyone to think we actually still do that; I've been asked). It really hit home that Jews have been observing Yom Kippur for thousands of years in not entirely dissimilar ways. We've replaced animal sacrifice with prayers since we no longer have a temple, but the intent is still the same. Reading about this ancient ritual made me feel really connected to my roots.

The lack of food was actually very freeing this year, which is the whole point of fasting, to focus on praying and not on everyday needs. We also don't wear deodorant/lotions/makeup, brush teeth, shower, have sex, or do much of anything on Yom Kippur. Yes, it's a hardcore day. For an entire day, I had to do absolutely nothing except focus on my spiritual state.

Iron Girl

2010-09-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

I finished my second ever 5K race this morning. Because it was sponsored by Aflac, I received the most exciting little plush duck ever (pictured above), who is wearing a zip-up fleece jacket and a visor. Other "free" (I enquote that because I paid to be in the race) items included a T-shirt, grocery tote, reusable lunch bag, foot soak, body mist, two lip balms, a sponge with a duck on it (moistened for me at the finish line), a finisher's medal (oooh), 35 music downloads, and assorted snacklets and coupons.

Notice I jumped straight to the freebies and didn't mention how I did. I was 1:24 slower than my last 5K. I've spent the day analyzing why this is the case and being less excited about doing an overall awesome job. Though my time wasn't better, my placement was better than last time. I placed 52 out of 220 in my division (25-29), which is better than 76% of the ladies in the division. Last time I was 145 out of 329 in my division (20-29, hard to compare due to the inclusion of the young'uns), only the 55th percentile. The average time for all participants was 39:59; my time was 31:24. As of this morning, there exists a spreadsheet for my race stats as well as my training and fun/sanity runs. I found a tracking tool online and I'm tweaking it to meet my needs.

I previously mentioned I was thinking of doing a 10K at the UW Dawg Dash this fall. I'm undecided as to whether I will be good enough by that time. The course is throughout the UW campus, which is quite hilly. If I don't do the 10K, I'm definitely doing the 5K. We'll see how my runs go for a while. I have over a month to train and I found a training plan that looks possibly doable. I think I'm just being mean to myself today because I wanted a PR (personal record) and didn't get it.

Planned Adventure

2010-08-29T20:33:00.000-07:00

Look who's up to 5.6 miles! I've discovered I love running around the Phinney Ridge neighborhood, so I'm basically doing an outer outer loop of Green Lake. My route around the lake to get there isn't too bad of an elevation gain and I let myself walk up the hills, which have been falling conveniently around the 2.5 mile mark when I'm ready for a break and the sidewalks turn to dirt paths for a while. And then I get to gleefully run down them, though one of my knees is now hurting from doing this. I feel like my runs are currently easier if I'm not near the lake. I know that path too well, so I know how far I have left to go, there's a definite beginning and end, and running in the same circle gets really boring and I focus too much on my running rather than chilling. Neighborhood running is fun because you get to discover new places, like tonight when I finally figured out where the Greenwood PCC is located. I like to wind around the blocks and get a little bit lost (though I did consult a map beforehand to get a rough idea of where I wanted to go; must stop doing that); it's an adventure in addition to a run. Yes, it was a planned adventure, just like I have planned spontaneity.

Seward Park

2010-08-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

I dragged my butt to Seward Park (way far south of me) tonight for Shabbat dinner, part of a larger group hosting at least three houses worth of dinners for mostly single Jews salivating at the idea of marriage and lots of Jewish babies. While I didn't end the night with a nice Jewish husband, I had a great time, probably the best Shabbat dinner I've had in months. My hosts, a young couple with three little kids, were awesome. They were religiously observant (as are most Jews in Seward Park) but still able to make jokes about sex and drugs. I was offered shots literally as soon as I walked in the door. Beautiful home, an abundance of delicious food (kosher meat!), and pleasant conversation.

Accomplishment!

2010-08-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I made the biggest leap ever in my running. I ran 5.2 miles! Just last week I was having trouble doing three. I only had to walk a couple times, mostly due to small hills. I finally busted out of my running-in-a-circle routine and took it to the streets. I found it got easier after the first three miles, which I've never gone past so I didn't know this until now. I think it's the adrenaline and endorphins after that point, because it felt really, really good, especially on the downhill parts. I wanted to lift up my arms and fly. I've been reading "Runner's World" magazine and learned that the marathon and half-marathon runners basically use the first three miles for warm-up.

I've decided I'm doing the Dawg Dash 10K in October (6.2 miles around and around the Husky Stadium track). It's part of UW homecoming festivities and I think it would be an awesome first 10K to do, being my alma mater and all. I can get decked out in purple and gold!

Only a couple weeks until my second 5K! So excited!

Fangs

2010-08-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

I just finished the first easy run I've had in weeks, and possibly the easiest ever! I attribute it to one or more of the following:

a) Caffeine. I had a cup of tea mid-morning and I felt good the rest of the day.
b) No yoga or waterobics this week
c) Time of day, or rather, night. Running after dark is kind of relaxing and I don't feel unsafe in my area since there are a still a million other runners, walkers, rollerbladers, and wheeled babies out at night.
d) Bats in the f***ing park! I'm terrified of bats and tonight I learned there are a ton of them in the park. There is nothing like a pack of winged creatures coming after you to get you to run extra fast to get the hell out of the park. Funny how the neck cramp and toe ache suddenly disappeared! I certainly wasn't going to slow down and walk lest they find me an easy target. When I got to the point on the path where I usually turn to walk home, I turned and kept running the extra distance to the park exit. As much as I hate bats, I'm going to keep running at night, as the very thing I hate seems to be a really good motivator to stop babying myself and actually run at my true potential.

Friday Night

2010-08-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to my synagogue's young adult Shabbat service and dinner. Miracle: I was actually there on time and realized I hadn't been through a Kabbalat Shabbat service in a couple years (I usually go Saturday morning if I go) because I've been really late or not there at all. Yeah, that's pretty sad. I still have the melodies and words memorized from when I learned them at Hillel in college, sitting in a half circle in the beit midrash as the sun was setting until it finally became completely dark by the end of the service. Those were the nights. Tonight was remiscent of that: Same psalms and melodies, same type of cozy little room (also a beit midrash, i.e. "house of study", i.e. where small services are held) full of my peers, same progressive darkness over the course of the service. It felt really good to be there.

The Tree

2010-08-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

I've been doing genealogy research for about eight years now, on and off depending on what I have going on in my life. I last worked on my tree at the end of 2008, during the great Snowmageddon in Seattle when I had several days off from work. Before that, I took a couple years off because I was devoting a lot of my time to developing myself as a Jew and I for some reason felt that there was a conflict between who I was becoming and what my tree represented (i.e. a whole lotta white protestants named Elizabeth, John, and Mary stretching as far back as the eye can see). Since then, I've become much more secure in my Jewishness and feel less of a conflict of interest in continuing my research.

Tonight I shook the dust off the database and did a little bit of work,mostly just verification of data I'd entered based on other people's research, finding and filling in sources and details such as residences I hadn't looked for yet. For years, I could only work on my mother's line, as my father was adopted as a newborn and I never had any information about this birth parents. In 2007, after my father's death and my acquisition of the copy of his original birth certificate (tucked in a hospital bedside Bible at the time of his death, the thought of which always brings tears to my eyes because he spent his life hating religion), I was finally able to fill out my lopsided tree. The father's name is too common to do much with, but I've been able to make significant progress on the mother's line, my grandmother's line. It's an interesting thing, genealogy, in that I'm simultaneously attached and detached to the thousands of little people (my dead people, as my college boyfriend used to refer to them as).

I do feel relieved that I finally got to at least know the names of my paternal grandparents. I had a great curiosity from a young age, since learning around age 5 or 6 that my father had been adopted. I've always had this need to feel connected. I don't think I got enough through biology or circustance, so I spent years trying to find something to fill in the gaps. I feel incredibly blessed that I figured out at such a young age (13 and then 21) that I was meant to become a Jew. I could have spent my entire life trying to figure out how to fill the gaps that had been empty since childhood, but I got really, really lucky.

I can tell Fall will be approaching soon, because the introspection is setting in.

Exhaustion

2010-08-08T19:58:00.001-07:00

I finally bought a decent pair of running shoes today. I was previously running in shoes I bought on clearance at DSW a couple months ago to get started. I went to Super Jock & Jill and got properly fitted for my foot and running style. I'm apparently a pronator (my knees and feet turn inward when I run) and this magical shoe is supposed to correct that. I took them out for their first run and they felt nice and cozy. Unfortunately, my poor body is exhausted from sightseeing all day yesterday, from giving up coffee (I'm quitting quitting my morning cup or at least switching to yerba matte), and maybe from not eating the things it secretly desires, so I was only able to run two miles (thought without stopping). I had to walk home. I'm trying to console myself with little pep talks ("It's okay, kiddo, you've been doing a lot and you're still learning how to care for your new little athletic body"). And then 30 minutes later I walked to yoga (about a mile away, I think), and then of course, did the yoga. The things I put my body through. It's resting for the remainder of the evening, because it's had a rough week and it deserves some kindness.

Victoria

2010-08-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the entire day in Victoria, BC, leaving Seattle at 7:30 a.m. by boat and arriving back in to Seattle at 9:30 p.m. San Francisco was supposed to be my big summer fun adventure but my memories of it are a little tainted now and I decided I needed a do-over trip and Victoria is close enough to Seattle to be very feasible for a day visit. What a lovely, lovely little city! Lovely is the best word I can think of to describe it. Clean and pretty and so British-feeling. It was my first time there, but I've been to Vancouver twice, and I fall in love with Canada every visit. I took an amazing amount of pictures, to the point where my freshly-charged battery died, which has never happened on a day trip. A summary of my day:
-Took pictures of the famous Empress Hotel (did not have high tea there as it is $60) and BC Parliament buildings
-Lunch at Milestones, a restaurant on the water, with the best veggie burger I've had in a long time, if not ever.
-Miniature World! One of the main reasons I wanted to go to Victoria. It was cool, but I've seen more impressive (the Thorne Rooms at the Art Institute of Chicago set the bar really high). Loved the teeny historical reenactments, though.
-Royal BC Museum: It was raining so I kind of felt like exploring indoors. I didn't have high expectations for the museum given that it's in a small city, I'd never heard of it, and it focuses on British Columbia history (where I don't live), but I was so wrong! My favorite exhibits were the mammoths, and then the huge collection of cultural artifacts from the 19th century to the present day, including clothing, medicines, technology, and other assorted household items. Most of the exhibit was built so that you felt like you were walking through the streets of an old town and could walk right up on to the porches of the buildings. After I finished browsing, I went to the museum cafe and had a cup of orange pekoe tea (I can never find it in cafes here) and a piece of lemon poppyseed bread.
-Royal London Wax Museum: I'd never been to a wax museum and I had lots of time left so I decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, my camera ran out of battery halfway through, so you're just going to have to trust that I indeed met Anne of Green Gables while in her home country. Sigh. I did get plenty of pictures of the royals and American presidents, though.
-Browsed the shops along the inner harbor and had ice cream at a soda fountain (I love old fashioned ice cream parlors).

Even though it was just a day trip, it felt really good to actually go somewhere that required a passport. I cannot emphasize enough how pretty and quaint this city is! Go there! It's also prompted me to decided that my next major trip needs to finally be London.

Thutt

2010-08-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday in yoga, I was instructed to focus on my thutt during a particular pose, the place between my thigh and my butt. This may be my favorite new word. As if it couldn't get any better, I also learned the much-needed alternative to downward dog (ouch after a while, my arms were a tad sore), puppy pose. Puppy pose! Too cute, almost as cute as thutt.

Woot

2010-08-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

The official results are in! I'm pleased with my time and placement and now I get to compete against myself for a better pace and time. :-)

Seafair Torchlight Run
5K Run
July 31, 2010 in Seattle, WA

Summary
Number of Finishers: 1,780
Number of Females: 1,070
Number of Males: 710
Average Time: 32:05

Kelly Hanna
bib number: 5195
age: 27
gender: F
location: Seattle, WA
overall place: 789 out of 1780
division place (females 20-29): 145 out of 329
gender place: 374
time: 30:04
pace: 9:42

I did it!

2010-07-31T22:09:00.000-07:00

I did my first 5K tonight! And guess what? I ran the entire way, no breaks!!! I've never done that before! As a coincidence, I had my fastest time, about 32 minutes (official results aren't available yet). It's been a few hours and I'm still high off the adrenaline and endorphins. I think I'm officially going to become a race junkie, because now I'm plotting to beat my time in the next race. I want to do it again and again for the natural high. It's so much more fun than I expected! The crowd and the cheering... I sprinted the final block to the finish line just to prove I could. :-)

Gratitude 7/27/10

2010-07-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

Gratitude list for today:
1. Raspberries. I bought half a flat on Sunday and it's like having heaven in my fridge. My most favoritest fruit ever.
2. Bad TV that somehow makes me unable to stop watching, especially in re "Secret Life of the American Teenager." Yes, I like a teen soap. Also, "The Bachelorette." Finale next Monday night; don't talk to me that night.
3. Lazy summer nights with snacking, TV, and open windows. I'm doing the same thing I've been doing since I was a kid.
4. Naps in dark rooms
5. Sunshine. It happens so infrequently in Seattle and I'm trying to soak it up while it's here. Great mood booster!

In other news, I've been tapering my morning coffee. I'm not going completely off until after Saturday's race, but after that I'm going to try it. I don't need to be dependent on another thing. I'll still have it every now and then as a treat or social activity, but no more routine cup. If I need it, I'll have some green tea instead.

Social Run

2010-07-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

This evening was the first time I've actually run with someone outside of running class. I went running with my friend Nicole and the time flew by as we ran along chatting. I needed almost no break. I could totally carry on a conversion. I had no aches or pains, especially not in my shoulders. Dare I say it, I chilled! Maybe the whole shoulder tension thing really does have more to do with stress and less to do with what my body inherently wants to do. I wasn't all that tired afterwards either, perhaps an indicator that I've been putting too much of my energy into my shoulders and arm movement. Had I really pushed myself, I may have been able to make it around the lake a second time, or at least half a lake, the latter of which doesn't do me a lot of good... I do think I need to start pushing myself a little harder, just a quarter mile more each week. I want to do the Seattle Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon (13.1 miles) next summer.

Gratitude 7/19/10

2010-07-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

Gratitude list for today that doesn't include a passive-aggressive jab at anyone:
1. Homemade brownies
2. Chlorine in the public pool, especially after I saw someone spit water
3. Oprah. I haven't watched her show in a while, because I haven't watched much TV at all, but I'm reading her magazine for the first time in years in my new quest for self-awareness.
4. Enough energy lately to not need additional caffeine during the workday.
5. Toilet paper in all Green Lake public bathroom stalls I was in today (Total=3). Lesson for the day: Don't put toilet paper on the seat as a barrier if you just got out of the pool; it will stick.

Yoga

2010-07-18T18:56:00.001-07:00

This afternoon I did yoga for the first time since my Freshman year of college and I absolutely loved it! The instuctor at Community Fitness was very friendly, calm, and perfect for beginners. I felt incredibly relaxed, was able to do all of the positions, and the hour flew by. I may get hooked on this, because it felt really, really good. The stretching, the om-ful meditation, the breathing, the dim, quiet basement studio, all very lovely. Going again sometime in the next week.

Gratitude 7/18/10

2010-07-18T00:16:00.001-07:00

Gratitude list for the day, even though end of day ruined by someone who told me I'm uncoordinated even though they know I'm really trying to build my confidence:
1. Burlesque, especially with hot girls
2. Girls to laugh with
3. Sourdough bread
4. My synagogue
5. The standard comforting Saturday lunch at shul including bagel, tuna salad, and brownies from a mix.

Gratitude 7/16/10

2010-07-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

Gratitude List for Today:
1. An honest friend who warned me about a potentially damaging social situation I was about to step in.
2. A friend who babysat me on a Friday night when I needed it
3. Whole Foods pre-made pizza dough
4. Legs of steel in progress. I will crush things soon.
5. Comfortable bed

Tonight: I lounged, I ate, I girl-talked, I drank, I laughed.

Zumba!

2010-07-15T21:30:00.001-07:00

In case anyone was wondering, yes, a three-mile run and an hour of zumba in the same evening is painful, but it is technically do-able. There were girls in the class barely sweating; I'm convinced they were cyborgs. Real women sweat. I sweated bucketfulls today. My feet and back hurt from the impact of the zumba workout. I may give it another shot, as I have a five-class pass for Community Fitness I purchased on LivingSocial, but I also want to try yoga, even if it means walking to the location further away. Plus about zumba: The music is super fun. I want there to be aquazumba here (It exists but not at my public pool). I still love aerobics in water much more than on land.

On another note, five things I'm grateful for from this day (I'm trying to add more gratitude and reflection to my daily life. Don't care if it's cheesy or some of them sound insignificant; I can't give you deep thoughts all of the time, people.):
1. A healthy, sound body that can actually run three miles and do zumba!
2. A boss who listens to my ideas
3. Sex and the City. I'm rewatching the series right now and I always seem to find something that resonates with me no matter what I have going in my life.
4. A landlord who maintains the grounds and is always available for repairs and happy to help.
5. Places to walk at lunch, for when I can't sit still another second or having a stressful/emotional moment and need to calm down.

Pride

2010-07-12T21:26:00.001-07:00

New hardcore level reached: Ran 3 miles AND went to waterobics an hour later. AND I'm not tired (yet). Go me! I totally earned the homemade pizza I'm currently eating.

OMG, just looked up at the TV and saw a preview for a dating show called, "Dating in the Dark." Two strangers get in a dark room and rub against each other. I have to watch the premiere on August 9th. How could I not?

Running, running, running...

2010-06-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

Running the lake is becoming less daunting. It doesn't seem so far anymore. I'm only taking about 30 second to 1 minute breaks in between thirds. The last third is still hard, but now I can at least do almost 2/3 of the 2.8 miles with minimal discomfort. I want to get my butt to the 3 mile mark in the next couple weeks. I have a hunch we're going to do that for the last class tomorrow, since we haven't quite made it to 5K (3 miles) yet and running the outer loop would get us to our goal. I did the inner loop of the lake twice this week and I think I need to be nudged a little further. I don't love the gravel of the outer loop as much as the paved path, but a change of scenery would be nice. And then at some point, I may actually run elsewhere. Gasp!

Ramona!

2010-06-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

I just learned that there is a movie coming out next month based on the Beverly Cleary Ramona books that I used to OBSESS over. I even had to have my hair cut like Ramona's in first grade. I used to watch the TV series over and over because I had it recorded (the VHS tape is still somewhere at my mom's house), the Canadian-produced PBS one with Sarah Polley.

http://www.ramonaandbeezus.com/

I'm going to see it in the theater. I don't care if I'm the only adult there. I must see. And as a bonus, John Corbett is in it (mmmm).

Benefits of Running

2010-06-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Did a Google search for kicks on the benefits of running. I like this particular post/article a lot (probably because it's broken into categories and I like categories): http://ririanproject.com/2007/10/22/10-benefits-of-running-and-how-to-do-it/ I'm especially intrigued by #8, Train Your Mind.

First Bad Run

2010-06-20T11:32:00.001-07:00

I had my first lousy run this morning. It was my first morning run, I hadn't had my coffee yet, was probably a little dehydrated, and hadn't eaten. My running coach said it was fine to run before eating breakfast, but maybe not for me. I don't know which of the above factors was the worst contributor, but from now on, I plan to eat a little something first, have coffee (or kick my habit), and drink enough water the night before. I was only out for 20 minutes but I started to have a little bit of nausea, headache, and then wheezing lungs. I know why the nausea and headache were there but I forget my lungs are attached to the rest of my body and their function is dependent on my eating and drinking. (It was also drizzly but I've run in pouring rain before without issues). For some reason, I just don't normally connect the sacs of air to what I consume. I think this was a very good lesson for me. I had cocktails last night with a friend while watching "The Hangover" and though I don't feel hungover this morning, putting shit in my body results in a shitty run. I really want to have great, long runs that leave me feeling energized and happy and glowy. My future dietitian self is having a talk with my current self, a gentle talk, not a lecture, because that isn't kind or motivating. Granted, this talk is occurring while I'm eating leftover pizza for breakfast. And blueberries, though.

I have grand goals for this running thing. They include the following:
No osteoporosis when I get old. I do not ever want to be in the shape my mother is in at 60.
Buffness! Legs and buns of steel!
Keep depression at bay
Kill the gym class trauma
Confidence from the knowledge that my body can do bitchin' things

I'm thinking of running in the 5K Seafair Torchlight run on July 31st. And then the 5K Iron Girl run in September.

Kindergarten Graduation

2010-06-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

One of my Facebook friends posted this today and I thought it was cute. It's speech for a Jewish kindergarten graduation (I didn't have a kindergarten graduation, did you? I don't really understand it, since kindergarten is usually in the same school as the rest of the grades, so why bother when you aren't going anywhere?).
http://www.tabletmag.com/life-and-religion/36074/pomp-and-happenstance/

Most of the words of wisdom were stolen from other people and I'm not going to bother crediting them all (or any of them; I don't care who said them). The highlights:

Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead and sometimes you’re behind.

Don’t hit. Share your toys. Dance every day. Sing the clean-up song regularly. (I might need a copy of this song for motivation)

Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy! (Miss Frizzle from "The Magic Schoolbus" series; she's the one person I feel I must credit)

“Saying ‘yes’ begins things. Saying ‘yes’ is how things grow. Saying ‘yes’ leads to knowledge. ‘Yes’ is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say ‘yes.’" (OK, another credit: Stephen Colbert)

I recommend reading the actual speech. It's quite cute and touching.

Ouch

2010-06-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

Ran the lake tonight, all 2.8 miles of it. Two short breaks for pee, water, stretch, and group catch-up. I walked none of it; some people did and it was fine. I am ridiculously sore. All new muscles hurt this time. It's so nice of my muscles to take turns hurting rather than all hurt at once, though. I always bring money with me because I'm craving one thing or another before I leave my apartment and think I might want to get something after the run; I'm never hungry immediately afterwards. I sometimes use my runs as an opportunity to decide what I want to have for dinner (because it takes so long or I really want junk) and I usually come home and make a healthier choice than I would have had I leapt straight into dinner.

School year is finished!

2010-06-16T21:11:00.001-07:00

I finished the first year of general chemistry today! That means I now know everything I could ever possibly want to know about general chemistry. :-) It also means I get to take organic chemistry in the fall, and then the lab to go with it winter quarter (I don't know why they split them, makes no sense). It hasn't really sunk in yet. I just put in an entire school year's worth of effort. I sacrificed a social life! Now I want to celebrate by ordering pizza, pouring a glass of wine, and watching TV. But first, I celebrated with a run, 30 minutes, two miles. That's better than I could do when I was ten! I almost got a little emotional at one point while thinking about how hard I worked on chemistry and how hard I'm working on the running thing now and I'm really, really proud of myself. Ooh, and today, a classmate asked if I've lost weight and told me I looked good. Yay! A good evening.

Travel Weekend

2010-06-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I received a price reduction alert from Travelzoo and there was a nice hotel in San Francisco for $99 a night, so I booked it for Fourth of July weekend! I'd been thinking about going there sometime this summer but hadn't actually done anything about it, but I saw this and took it as a sign as the time to go. I cashed in some of my Alaska Airlines miles for the plane ticket, so the cost of the vacation was reduced significantly. It's not practical money-wise but so needed. I haven't been anywhere since Guatemala over a year ago and I seriously have the travel bug nipping at my ankles. I looked at the price of private rooms in the hostels there (not comfortable with a dorm situation) and the hotel was the same price, plus I'll get the teensy bottles of toiletries that I love so much, and I really, really love hotels. I'll have two full days there because I have a really early flight out of Seattle. The bonus of traveling alone is that I get to determine the entire schedule; I can cram a lot into two days. My hotel is situated such that I can very easily get to everything I want to see. I know it'll be crowded because it's July 4th weekend, but I kind of figure it'll be crowded all summer anyway, so why not see some pretty fireworks over the bay while I'm on vacation?

Rain

2010-06-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Shortly after running class began, it started to pour. Lovely. Glad I didn't wear white to class! It was my first run in the rain, the first of many as long as I live in Seattle. At times it was slightly pleasant (when I wasn't worried that my mascara was running) and I had a little fun leaping over puddles, but I discovered I do indeed have a carpal tunnel issue in my right hand/forearm that is especially noticeable when cold and active (I move my hand or arm in certain directions and I feel the nerve tingle). A really hot shower seems to have helped it. I still feel like I'm not relaxing my upper body. Those are the muscles that hurt after running. I'm wondering if waterobics is partially to blame since it requires so much pushing and pulling and I'm really used to it. It could also be that I just need to learn how to chill the f*** out.

Fun Run

2010-06-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

I left chemistry class early tonight. It was the last lecture of the quarter (and school year!) and I didn't necessarily need or want to be there. I also got an 88 on my lab final and was not too happy about it. On the bus ride home, for the first time I got the urge to go for a run. My very first non-homework running session for pleasure rather than practice. It's also the first time I didn't procrastinate with the warm up. I started running not even half way down the alley and I usually have to walk to the street before I get up enough nerve to pick up my feet and start. I just couldn't wait this time. I ran a total of about 1.75 miles round trip without walking and with only one 1-minute water fountain break in the middle before I turned around to come home. I'm spending less time focused on the mechanics of running and more time on the scenery, my music, and thoughts. I also learned that an evening run plus a shower is very relaxing. Couch and TV coming at me!

Now running with music!

2010-06-06T13:29:00.001-07:00

First run from which I'm dripping sweat. It feels damn good! I don't like the kind of sweat the comes from just hot weather, but I'm learning I like the sweat that comes from a good workout. I'm also slightly frustrated/weirded out that I have never been able to touch my toes, not even close. We're talking just below the knee. I just don't understand. I want to try yoga for a while to work on some flexibility and breathing. Yeah, so now I need a breathing class. Last Friday night, someone said, "You need a running class? You didn't learn that a long time ago?" Some of us need a little extra help in the physical activity department. Yes, I could physically run prior to this but not with any sustainability. I suppose it must feel similar for those who need extra help in school. I've never struggled with it (I'm not awesome at math, but I don't really suck at it either) and have often secretly wondered what it would be like to just really not pick it up. I am not a natural athlete, but I've decided that doesn't mean I can't get good at physical activities; it'll just take more effort.

Also the first run on which I brought music, my cell phone has a radio that I've never used. I programmed in all my stations and now I'm set for running and bus rides. I don't know why I never used it before. It doesn't cost anything extra. I've started using Mint.com for budgeting and I've decided to budget in a new iPod to be purchased in July (one under $200). I'm going to get a 16G nano, which is almost as much as my current one holds (I used just over 8G currently so I'm just barely too much for the 8G). Yes, folks, I'm going to retire my five year old, Zack Morris iPod (remember the massive cell phone he used to carry around way back in the 90s?). I haven't selected the color yet. I'm thinking purple or blue (I know it's a shocking thought that I would choose purple because I clearly don't love the color at all, right?).

I'm debating starting a second blog this summer, when I have free time, dedicated to all things miniature. We'll see if anything else fills that time, though. I may also resume the genealogy, dust off the dead people for a while.

Activities

2010-06-05T00:44:00.000-07:00

I went to REI for the first time today, the nice downtown Seattle one. They don't sell stopwatches. WTF? They sell 100 different glow-in-the-dark keychains but they don't have one stopwatch? I quickly walked past the clothing section during my hunt and I think I could finally find a dress there to match my blue canvas Timbuk2 messenger bag. My favorite discovery was the tiny replicas of the tents. I want one. I don't know what I would do with it, but I want one. There were sooo many interesting things in the store. It makes me want to take up hobbies just to buy the cool gear.

I went to Shabbat dinner tonight. It started out awkward but I ended up talking to nice people I met last week and just now got home (12:30 a.m.), so I obviously enjoyed myself and didn't flee from the social situation. Now I just need to get up the nerve to stick with it.

I'm not sore today from running. I am my own rock star goddess idol.

Running Class #2

2010-06-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished my second running class. It is getting so much easier and it's only been a week! I didn't even really sweat and we ran two 0.75 mile stretches (1.5 miles total). Yay! The class seriously flew by. An hour felt like 30 minutes. I have an extra running homework day within the next week and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to fit it in since I have class on Monday and Wednesday and I have Shabbat dinner tomorrow, which I'm not going to skip because I get so few of them. Maybe I could double up with waterobics on Saturday. Oh, and then I have to fit in school work this weekend. I stress about the amount of time school takes right now, but I know I'm going to miss it this summer when I'm not taking classes.

Pluses

2010-06-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Things I'm happy about today:

1. The quinoa tabouli I brought to the work potluck was a huge hit and someone asked for the recipe. After a couple previous attempts at this, I finally used a recipe and it's gooood. Took forever to cut everything up, though.

2. Someone brought cupcakes to the potluck and I discovered the wonder that is the Cupcake Royale yellow cake with chocolate frosting. About a million times better than the Trophy version, which makes me think twice about my love of Trophy over Cupcake Royale. I may actually like the frosting at Cupcake Royale better. It's less whipped. Maybe.

3. I only missed three points on the chemistry test I was feeling so-so about last week. I'm sitting at a 4.0. I hope it stays that way.

4. My quads are super sore, which I'm only half happy about. I'm partially happy because it means I worked hard and it's sort of a good kind of pain... Second running class is tomorrow evening. I will write about it.

5. We learned a little about gemstones in chemistry today (excluding diamond, because we already discussed it a lot during the million chapters about reaction rates and conditions), as we are finally getting around to talking about transition metals. I didn't know this, but apparently a ruby, sapphire, emerald, etc. is just a teeny bit of extra metal away from being just another rock. The precursor to ruby and sapphire, corundrum (Al2O3), is just a clear rock, but add chromium (to get ruby) or iron and titanium (to get sapphire), and you end up with something completely different. And this occurs in nature without any manipulation. It's interesting to think about how ridiculously close one thing can be to being another. Add the right conditions and the course changes; this could so be looked at on many levels. I spend a lot of time not liking the chemistry work I have to do because it takes so much of my time and energy, but as I blogged before (months and months ago), I see some beauty and magic in it. We live in an amazing, amazing world. Nature just sort of happens. I just can't imagine how it could all be a cosmic accident.

Tonight's Dinner

2010-06-01T18:30:00.001-07:00

I made a quinoa taco for dinner. It's not new but it's always exciting. I was making quinoa tabbouleh for a work potluck for tomorrow so I figured while I was buying tomatoes and cilantro and quinoa for that anyway, I might as well get a few extra ingredients and have tacos for a few days, which I haven't had in a long time. My mouth is now delightfully on fire. Sooo good. My confession of the day: I puree my salsa. I can't handle the chunks but love the flavor. My nutritionist gave me full reign to puree to my heart's desire if it means I eat the veggies without gagging on unexpected chunks (i.e. onions, peppers, anything lurking). The chunk talk probably doesn't sound so appetizing to most of you. I spend my days reading about patients' output; I can talk about anything while eating. I am also watching "Jon & Kate Plus 8" reruns on Netflix while I eat and type; I'm sorry to put you over the edge with that.

Delinquent Blog Writer Returns

2010-05-31T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm back! I was waiting for something interesting enough to happen to be worth writing about, at least writing about for more than 140 characters. I've decided to use this blog space to attempt to open up about myself a bit more and also document the new things I've been trying, the stretches I'm trying to make as a person. I've done less than my best in that regard for the past couple years and I want it to end. I'm working on my self-esteem and trying to do more with my life than I was before.

I started a running class last Thursday, "Couch to 5K." It's a class for beginner runners, those of use who may have been doing a lot of walking or pilates or swimming or nothing or whatever up to this point and want to learn how to run. It lasts six weeks. On July 1st, I will be able to run 5 kilometers without stopping. We did a little bit during the first class and I survived with minimal discomfort. We were given a calendar of homework. This week's assignments were a 30 minute walk with hills (I do this all the time, so it was sort of my freebie), 45-60 minutes of crosstraining (I did my usual waterobics class on Saturday morning to count toward this), and 20 minutes of jog/walk (3 minutes jogging, 1 minute walking).

I just did my jog/walk, my first solo running in a couple years (last time I tried twice and quit). I put on my new running shoes, stretchy running capris with invisible panties purchased to go under the very tight pants, sports bra (yes, I require one, I'm not that small, don't even comment Mandy! :-)), breathable T-shirt, and short socks (took some getting used to, kept wanting to pull them up, but couldn't wear normal socks at the risk of being a dork in crew socks and capris), I stretched in my entryway, and set out walking down the alley toward the street. My original intent was to walk for 1 minute and then start running while in the alley, but I lost my nerve when I heard people chatting and barbecuing and such and the fear I used to have in gym class came back. The fear that people were making fun of me, because they used to then. I got to the end of the alley, took a deep breath, and started jogging down Woodlawn Avenue with no particular destination in mind but to just keep running wherever I spontaneously decided to go, all the while telling myself that I don't notice what people look like when they're running so why would anyone notice me and my red face and lumpy hips and obvious inexperience (I probably didn't look particularly inexperienced)? I have to keep telling myself this isn't gym class and nobody is going to tease me, especially total strangers. The first 3 minute stretch was challenging and it seemed to last forever and ever and ever. Second stretch was a little better. By the third round I was starting to notice the flowers in people's yards and feeling kind good and a little more graceful. When I finally got back to my apartment, I did some quick stretches and then reveled in the warmth and sweat and pounding heart. It felt amazing! I took off my Reebok brand breathable top (I felt pretty kick-ass when I bought it at Value Village this morning; it now smells and I'm kinda proud of that) ala Brandy Chastain and proudly busted out the blog to write in my sports bra and stretchy pants. Excited to keep pushing myself further. Excited to melt off a little of the tummy, though I have decreased in size in the past couple months, especially noticed this on the scale 5-10 lbs less than at the beginning of the year depending on when I weigh myself. The really major goal, though, is to feel comfortable in my own skin. I've been wanting to do more physical activities to help with that, to really be present in my self. Running is step one. I think I want to do yoga at some point this summer, too.

NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018

2010-02-12T07:18:00.000-08:00

NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018 The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Forced to come out of blog hiding for this

2010-01-21T19:21:00.000-08:00

Media outlets and psychologists everywhere are apparently having issues with Angelina Jolie dressing her daughter Shiloh in boyish clothing. Give me a freakin' break.

A fine selection of thoughts on the issue from the article below (article does not seem to share their opinion, by the way): Link to E! Online story

"Angelina has said she was bisexual in public—this is her bisexuality coming through...[Shiloh] is being guided into a bisexual role. Her mother is projecting this onto this particular child."

Oh no, they did not pull the bisexual card. Ignorant jerks. Bisexuality has zero to do with dressing in a manner typical of the opposite sex. Sigh.

"If Angelina is choosing her daughter's clothes...she could be repressing her daughter's true nature"

They are killing me. OK, the picture with the article also shows Zahara, who is dressed "like a girl" in a skirt. I think that these girls are probably choosing their own clothes, especially at the ages they are when little girls are known to come up with their own creative little outfits, and Shiloh wants to wear "boy" clothing, especially if it involves a pirate sword (see picture in linked article). And what if her true nature does not involve a skirt?

Angelina, you are my hero for allowing your children to be individuals.

Cake!

2010-01-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

Oh my God, it's a Mario Brothers cake posted at Cake Wrecks! This appears to be quite a work of art and I am utterly amazed and delighted.

Chemistry

2010-01-05T23:23:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to get to the point in my chemistry studies where we're actually starting to put the basic pieces together. As I was doing my reading tonight, I had the thought, "this is why I believe in God." I was reading about bonding and molecular shapes and I suddenly had a "wow, life is amazingly perfect, this couldn't be an accident" moment. I sometimes get this feeling while studying biology but this was the first time for chemistry. Before I started the chem series, I thought I would dislike it; I was wrong. I'm starting to see some beauty in it. I have a feeling I may be the person to actually like biochemistry when the time comes to take it. I'm starting to become more certain about my choice to become a nutritionist. Food and chemistry are literally your life. How awesome would it be to be part of that as a profession? I keep thinking, "Did I actually manage to make the right life choice?"

I hope this will be a good quarter. I hope I'll continue to "bond" (haha.sorry.) with chemistry.

Happy New Year

2010-01-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Winter break comes to an end tomorrow. Sigh. I wish I could say I've spent the break wisely but I mostly watched "Jon and Kate Plus 8" and increased my Wordscraper rank. That's productive, right? I also survived two crazy Hanukkah parties and a little personal life drama. I'm feeling pretty good about 2010. May it be as interesting and meaningful as 2009!

Friendster

2009-12-27T13:06:00.000-08:00

Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

I love "The Onion." I was a Friendster member for about a week. Had two or three friends and got bored. Did the same thing with Facebook for about six months until I got an inexplicable urge to push for more.

Stuff I Do While Sick

2009-11-29T21:07:00.000-08:00

I've been sick with the flu since Friday morning and I'm running out of things to watch online. I watched six episodes of "Glee" today and I'm now hooked. Before that, I test drove "Twin Peaks" for about three episodes and may return another time.

After the "Glee" marathon, I decided to torture myself with an episode of "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" It was painful. So very painful. A minimum of ten minutes of the 43 minute show were devoted to explaining the rules of the fairly simple question and answer game. As it turned out, neither the firefighter nor the policeman were smarter than the class of fifth graders. Throughout the course of the episode, a total of ten questions may have been actually asked. The rest of the time was spent on chit-chat, bad jokes, and rule explaining.

After the unsatisfactory experience of AYSTAFG, I turned to a very old episode of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" from 1999, the first season, back when Regis was still the host. I had forgotten the overwhelmingy shininess of Regis' ties. Ooh. Ahh. I got bored about halfway through the episode and quit.

Highest Need

2009-11-26T13:59:00.001-08:00

I need to own the miniature pug figurines from the Danbury Mint website. They also have a plethora of other pug options, any of which would be sound gift ideas, but miniature pugs! This is what's missing from my life.

http://www.danburymint.com/collectibles/prod/Purely-Pugs-Figurine-Collection_12912.aspx

Entertainment

2009-11-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

I miss having cable. Comcast finally cut the channels I wasn't paying for. They're really on the ball. I lowered my plan in May. I've been trying to supplement my life with episodes on Hulu and YouTube. So far, I've watched Top Chef, Jon and Kate Plus 8 (soon to be cancelled), Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and I've always watched The Office on Hulu since it conflicts with Grey's Anatomy Thursday nights.

I'm being a bad Netflix user. I've had the same unopened DVD sitting on my TV bench for a couple weeks. I would consider cutting the service, but I occasionally watch the Watch Now stuff and I don't want to lose yet another viewing option, in light of the cable loss.

At least I still have Oprah to look forward to at 9 p.m. each evening. Right now, she's interviewing Jemma Jameson. I'm all about quality television.

Gonna play some Sims now. It's a nice escape.

eek.

2009-10-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

I start my new job tomorrow! I'm a tad nervous, as I am at the beginning of any new job. I'll feel better once I get to settle in. First days are hard. Then afterwards, I have to go straight to chemistry class and be late, but I already warned my instructor and she said it would be fine.

So much to fret about these days.

Sin Maps

2009-10-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

I've had this link for several weeks, courtesy of a former coworker, but I'm just now getting around to posting it. I have no time, so my poor blog is being neglected.

Now, thanks to Wired, you can see which regions of the United States are the worst offenders of the Seven Deadly Sins:

http://www.wired.com/culture/education/magazine/17-09/st_sinmaps

The maps have whetted my appetite. I think I will be spending some time at Information is Beautiful. Chart, graph, and data nerd.

Awesomeness Coming Our Way

2009-09-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Diablo Cody is going to make a film adaptation of "Sweet Valley High." I cannot express how utterly amazing this is. It had better live up to my expectations! I didn't watch the TV show that was made from the series, but I read many, many of the books of "Sweet Valley High," "Sweet Valley Twins," "Sweet Valley Kids," and "Sweet Valley University." I also had the SVH board game, which I dearly miss.

She had better make this a good one. "Juno" was excellent. I haven't seen "Jennifer's Body," but I'm skeptical about it. If someone sees it, they should tell me if it's better than it looks in the previews.

Sweet Valley High!

Dream of a Double-Wide

2009-09-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

One of the many nice things about working is that it prompts me to listen to NPR. This afternoon on "The Writer's Almanac," this poem about country music touched and tickled me:

A Wife Explains Why She Likes Country
By Barbara Ras

Because those cows in the bottomland are black and white, colors
anyone can understand, even against the green
of the grass, where they glide like yes and no, nothing in between,
because in country, heartache has nowhere to hide,
it's the Church of Abundant Life, the Alamo,
the hubbub of the hoi polloi, the parallel lines of rail fences,
because I like rodeos more than golf,
because there's something about the sound of mealworms and
leeches and the dream of a double-wide
that reminds me this is America, because of the simple pleasure
of a last chance, because sometimes whiskey
tastes better than wine, because hauling hogs on the road
is as good as it gets when the big bodies are layered like pigs in a cake,
not one layer but two,
because only country has a gun with a full choke and a slide guitar
that melts playing it cool into sweaty surrender in one note,
because in country you can smoke forever and it'll never kill you,
because roadbeds, flatbeds, your bed or mine,
because the package store is right across from the chicken plant
and it sells boiled peanuts, because I'm fixin' to wear boots to the dance
and make my hair bigger, because no smarty-pants, just easy rhymes,
perfect love, because I'm lost deep within myself and the sad songs call
me out,
because even you with your superior aesthetic cried
when Tammy Wynette died, because my people
come from dirt.

Textbook Update

2009-09-12T19:03:00.001-07:00

I've decided to return my textbooks to the college bookstore, because I found them all cheaper online. Much cheaper. A total of $200 cheaper and tax-free. God bless half.com.

Petite Food

2009-09-11T17:06:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh: McDonald's in France has begun selling macarons (not macaroons) that look like baby burgers. They're kinda cute! I just hope they don't fry these in beef tallow like they do with their fries.

Ouch

2009-09-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

Textbook grand total for quarter #2 of nutrition prerequisite studies:

Anatomy & Physiology:
Human Anatomy & Physiology w/CD, seventh edition, Elaine Marieb--$154.83--7 lbs.
Human Anatomy & Physiology Laboratory Manual w/CD, eighth edition, Elaine Marieb--$101.01--5 lbs. (Why something spiral bound costs this much, I will never know)
The Anatomy Coloring Book, Wynn Kapit--$10.28--1.25 lbs. (Not required, but I'm a visual learner and this will likely help me immensely with memorization. I will also be pointing to your body parts and naming them, whether you like it or not. Patella *points at your knee*.)

Chemistry:
Chemistry: The Molecular Nature of Matter and Change, fifth edition, Silberberg--$162.88--6 lbs.

Grand Total:
$429.00. Thank God the A&P books will be used for two quarters and the Chemistry book for three. I've never spent this much on text books at one time. My credit card wants to die.

19.25 lbs. I have a nine-month old child on my desk. Or three newborns.

I also purchased three spiral notebooks at Value Village over the weekend. They are brand new with some "vote for so-and-so" stickers on them. I don't know who this candidate was, but I will paste something more exciting over the top of his name.

TV Spot Check

2009-09-06T19:34:00.001-07:00

I've taken the liberty of reading tonight's primetime television listings so you don't have to. The following programs will be running in Seattle at 8 p.m. PDT, Sunday, September 6th:

Deep Fried Paradise (Travel)
650-lb Virgin (TLC)
River Monsters (Animal Planet)
Tool Academy 2 (VH1)
Yo Mama (MTV2)

And I get crap for watching "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami"? I'm not working with much here, people. I may, however, tune into "Deep Fried Paradise," though I suspect I have seen it before.

Weeeee!

2009-09-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

For the past few years, I've been living without a box spring under my mattress. In other words, I've been a low rider. As of yesterday, I have a box spring and I'm riding high (thanks, Neal!). You have no idea how exciting this is for me. All I want to do for the time being is lie on my bed and kick my legs, and then swing them around to the side just to prove that my feet can't touch the floor. If my bed frame were not a cheap Ikea product, I would have a trampoline situation. I also feel a like the princess and the pea or some sort of stage performer, being so high up. This almost makes up for my cancelled skydiving excursion. I may spend the day reading trashy magazines and watching DVDs from my new and improved bed.

News You Will All Want To Know

2009-09-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

The woman with 18 children, Michelle Duggar, is now expecting number 19. She's also expecting her first grandchild in October. I hope she manages to squeeze a twentieth in before menopause, because it's just a better number than 19. I mean, once you have that many children, what's a couple more?

Yeah, I watch their show on TLC and even though I don't agree with their fundamentalist Christian views, I love a good freak show and they provide me with hours of entertainment. The world needs the occasional anomaly for entertainment and variety's sake, even though the Duggars will contribute extreme exponential growth of the population over time and will probably destroy the planet. Eh, as long as everyone doesn't have 19 children, can't we afford a humongous family or two?

Two windows, a TV, and a snack

2009-08-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

So it turns out multi-tasking may not be that great for us. Shoot. Apparently this little thing called "quality of work" suffers when we try to do more than one thing at a time. Now what am I supposed to do? My entire education and professional experience has prepared me to work this way. I can no longer function without tabbed browsing. I get sleepy doing only one thing at a time--that's why I read before bed. And where would I find the time to do everything I want to do? Am I supposed to set aside a special TV time? Is this what non-multi-taskers do? One thing at a time? How am I ever going to "have it all" if I have to choose what to focus on at any given time? My head hurts.

I'm Moving Here

2009-08-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

Inflatable house! No idea if this is real, but I really hope so.

Legos!

2009-08-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

Life-sized Lego house being built in the UK! Unfortunately, it will only be lived in for a few days. Next, I would like to see Play-Doh adobe.

Mini-vent

2009-08-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Note to humanity: Please stop talking about how much the economy sucks. Unless you have something hopeful to say about it, keep your thoughts about this subject to yourself. The question "What do you do?" is no longer an appropriate question. I would rather discuss sports, and I hate sports. I skipped shul this morning after being subjected to way too much job conversation last night.

Herding cows the size of schnauzers but they're cattle...

2009-08-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

This commercial isn't new but it makes me exceedingly tickled every time I see it on TV.

Mad Men

2009-08-17T21:10:00.000-07:00

Last night's season premiere of "Mad Men" apparently did very well. Thank God! I love this show and I want it to stick around for a long time. If you aren't familiar with it, it's a show about an advertising agency in New York in the early 60's, along with the family lives of the men who work there. The art is beautiful. Every detail is considered. It's just amazing. Seasons one and two are already on DVD--watch them!

Repost of Salon.com article:

Aug 17th, 2009 NEW YORK -- AMC network says "Mad Men" logged a one-third boost in viewers for its season premiere Sunday, over last year's premiere of the much acclaimed drama.
The 10 p.m. Eastern airing of the season opener drew an audience of 2.8 million viewers, versus 2.1 million last year.
Altogether, Sunday's total of three airings of the episode had an audience of nearly 4 million viewers.
Now in its third season, "Mad Men" follows the complicated life of Don Draper, an ad agency executive in 1960s-era New York.
The series has 16 Emmy nominations this year, the most for any drama series, including for Jon Hamm, who stars as Draper.

Synagogue Oy

2009-08-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

This morning I returned to synagogue after about a six month hiatus, prompted by the aufruf of two friends who are getting married in a couple weeks. I arrived just in time for the candy throwing. There were many mazel tovs (mazlei tov?) and we all continued with the rest of the service. Toward the end, the synagogue president got up to make announcements, starting by congratulating the happy couple, then immediately adding, "but sadly not all marriages last" and we sat there wondering where she could possibly be going with this, assuming that she was going to turn it into something positive about the couple and the long marriage they are going to have. She proceeded to announce that the rabbi and her husband are getting a divorce. Worst. Timing. Ever. In. The. History. Of. Synagogue. Announcements.

I Love

2009-08-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

Remember the most amazing computer game ever made? So does XKCD.

Robert Palmer May Have Been Exaggerating

2009-08-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Interesting article about addictive personalities at Divine Caroline, reposted by the Huffington Post today.

I think the most memorable and important part of it was this: "As one mental health expert put it, a healthy person plans exercise around their life. An addict plans their life around exercise."

Some of us are aware that we are more susceptible to addictions than the average person and this simple test is nice to mentally carry around for those times when we wonder whether we are really and truly addicted to a particular activity, substance, or item, or just worrying too much about something that is just really enjoyable.

I'm not giving up my caffeine addiction, though. From my cold, dead mug.